A New Hope: Forgiveness

Juniper Natural Therapies Paintedhorse A New Hope Therapy Writing

Spending time with ‘Hope’ a gentle soul at Paintedhorse

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain” – Oriah Mountain Dreamer

This poem came to mind recently as I left Dorset for pastures new in Glastonbury. This time the part of the poem that jumped out was the bit about betrayals – have I been opened by them?  I am not shrivelled or closed, my heart is still open to people, but was I opened by those betrayals? What does that mean?

Last week I sat in a lay-by pondering my circumstances and options.  I had just managed to get up a winding forest hill road and find a safe place to pull over as my clutch finally burnt out. I was 2.1 miles from where I would be counselling someone in 3 hours.  I was early as I had arranged to meet a friend for a catch up first.  I texted her to let her know and she came to find me. My bladder decided it also wanted in on this drama.  I smiled, no point crying, this is life – see the thread of humour George.  I knew the moment my car died would eventually come, but I had no money to replace the clutch and even if I did this little banger would not make its next MOT due to the amount of welding. Another ‘Dorset’ relationship, over.  My friend met me in the lay by with a drink of water and was amazingly quick at helping pack my car belongings into bags and into her car – my car is like a home so there was quite a bit of stuff!  A local garage agreed to come out and tow away Noddy2 and I watched as he left my life 15 minutes later.  It seemed like the last page of the Dorset chapter had turned and was now closed.  There is a clip in a movie that came to mind for this moment – ‘The Money Pit’ with Tom Hanks who after yet another mishap on his money pit house begins to laugh in a ridiculous way, its hilarious. I am not sure how long this link will last but here.  That was me last week.

Before I left Dorset a few things occurred to test my resolve.  One of which was I heard something that once would have angered me – yet another persons betrayal – but it did not anger me in the same way.  Not since a special equine therapy session last year, where a wise horse told me to make friends with my anger as its not going anywhere.  It was innate emotion, there to protect and there for survival.  Sometimes we are told we are not allowed to show anger, as children anger is not usually tolerated by adults around us.  Some of us are even told its not ‘lady-like’.  So it becomes suppressed within us in different ways, and this is what causes the issues not the anger itself, which if you think about it is quite transient.  To reflect further, I was once quite passive and over many moons eventually learnt that it doesn’t pay to be passive, as in response people were quite nasty towards me or took advantage in one way or another. An art history performance called Rhythm 0 in 1979 conducted by artist Marina Abramovic disturbingly showed what could happen to a passive person with no boundaries.  Reading what happened to this performance artist was chilling, someone tried to rape her, whilst another cut her neck and drank her blood. Interestingly when the performance was over and she became her ‘normal’ self the audience ran away as they couldn’t face her.

How some people treated me upset me, particularly family or those close at one time, my feelings grew into a despair, and at some stage anger surrounded my despair in a layer of protection.  Stored-anger often surrounds grief and sadness and I wonder if at this stage is more accurately called resentment, one that can have an explosive state of rage. Anger if expressed at the time of hurt is usually released quickly and does not cause the injury that suppressed anger can.  Releasing compressed-anger safely has been quite a journey for me.  I have acknowledged all those times I have not spoken up for myself, all those times I have remained silent, all those times people have stepped over my boundaries because I did not make them clear enough, all those times I have put my dreams/goals/wishes to one side for someone else’s. My self-belief that ‘I am not as important’.   I re-wrote my self-belief from childhood scripts, and got under my stored-anger layer. I am now working on releasing grief and despair – so really what better time to have some betrayal?

I recently came across two books and I love the way that happens when you are seeking answers.  In ‘You can Heal your Heart’ by Louise Hay and David Kessler there was a perfect paragraph “every relationship is assigned to you for your healing. Grief after any relationship gives you the window to heal your wounds and begin anew. Each relationship gives you an opportunity to face your fear and anger, they give you the chance to come closer to authentic healing and true love“.   In ‘Returning to Oneness, the seven keys of ascension’ by Leslie Temple-Thurston, I was drawn to chapter three  – ‘the second key: Forgive all betrayals‘.  How apt I thought as she explained ‘forgiveness’ clearly in a way I had not been able to comprehend before.  Having the experience of betrayal and being third dimensional – so therefore in our ego states or analytical mind – we often ‘feel hurt, a sense of loss, breech of trust and even victimised’. We attract more of the same.  I certainly did. The ‘tension of these experiences build up in the diaphragm’ – which is where I grew my cancer tumour of resentment – and this ‘tension-hardened’ muscle acts as a barrier between our 3 base chakras (worldly consciousness) and our 4 higher chakras (spiritual consciousness).

By meditating we can tap into our spiritual consciousness so we can explore further where we maybe holding the hurt of betrayal, as it can store beyond our consciousness. I wondered if this is why we can take emotions such as grief with us into other lifetimes?  I suspect I may have done this, which is why betrayal is being presented to me again – for healing.  Can I be opened by it?  See it as an opportunity to let go of it all and move forward to align to my souls purpose?  Betrayal and resentment, hatred even, has no value to my soul, only love is real (which is another fantastic book by Dr Brian Weiss). Under parental control we became either; ‘dominant/ rebellious/ assertive’ or ‘passive/ submissive/ victimised’, I did fall into the latter, but became more rebellious and outspoken as life went on and my anger grew. When we are born it does not take long before we are plugged into what I refer to as ‘The Matrix’ – yes, after the movie of the same title in 1999.  This matrix is one of control, of separation, and of games and drama of our own making. If we believe something was done to us, we feel separate – this is third dimension stuff.  But we are also fifth dimension beings, vaguely aware that we are trapped in time and space in the third dimension but knowing there is something more than this, and perhaps questioning if any of this is even real?  The truth is that we are all unified, part of each other, oneness.   So I betrayed myself as much as I was betrayed, I chose to come here, I chose to create or be involved in all of my experiences, I chose my parents, friends, relationships – each presenting for an opportunity to heal the soul (from a fifth dimension perspective).  The process of unplugging from the matrix of the third-dimension can be hard, and if we don’t ‘take the blue pill’ and look around its all very familiar, we know this on some level. Can I unlock the second key and forgive myself as well as others?  Can I be opened by life’s betrayals?  As I sat in the horse field most of this week, car-less, with a wonderful herd of ponies feeling anything but separate, I suspect I may have turned the key of forgiveness.

In its place I have begun to create a new business venture with a friend, one who incidentally – for those of you who like to tie up loose ends – got me to my counselling placement in good time so I could complete my final session with my client and then drove me back home to Glastonbury.

Sound Therapy with Horses

Juniper Natural Therapies Sound Therapy BE Potter Capture the Moment with Words. Dorset Somerset

BE Potter is exploring the world of sound therapy with horses, which you may have seen on her first session at Paintedhorse.  I invited her along to play her Native American flute for Jac and the girls. We weren’t bargaining on the strong wind and how it competes with the player – especially on the longer deeper sounding flute, but Britta managed brilliantly.  These are our highlights, enjoy.

Jac needed a little bit of time to process things after the flute session. He kept showing me his back legs as if trying to tell me something about them historically speaking. I gave his back legs a rub and some reiki. We then gave him some space as he had gone into a trance. Before we reached the bottom of the hill however he came racing down and tried to get Britta to run with him. She politely declined and instead he had to make do with me racing off attempting to gain a head start (a game we sometimes play). He kicked up both his back legs and squealed which I have never seen him do before. He caught up with me in no time. Jac has been kicking up his back legs when he gets playful ever since the sound therapy session and I feel something shifted in him emotionally…and possibly physically as he was showing signs of stiffness with his back legs. It doesn’t appear to be there now, I guess time will tell and of course I can always invite Britta back for another session (on a less windy day!).

The Aftermath Party

Essential Oil Therapy Juniper Natural Therapies Glastonbury Somerset Dorset

Sky and Annie relaxing after selecting their own oils

This photo does look like the scene of an aftermath party, but was actually after an Essential Oil Therapy session with Sky and Annie who came to visit for the day. Sky, affectionately known as Squiddles, is a 5 month old collie with boundless bags of energy. Annie her older collie companion often finds Sky hanging off her back, ears, scruff, tail with her teeth. I had my oils handy for an impromptu session and they both got interested so I started pulling bottles out of the box for selection.  Annie selected floral oils noted for emotional support such as rose which is good for anger/resentment and is found to be nurturing, and those for calming such as roman chamomile. Squiddles on the other hand was quick to dismiss most oils until Valerian which has a slight sedative or calming effect and is said to give a euphoric feeling.  Minutes after spending some inhaling this oil she had a good snooze. As did Annie, appreciating some peace and quiet we suspect. The rest of us in the room had to put up with the smell of valerian which if you have never smelt it, does kinda smell like week old sports socks!

Valerian is also a favourite with cats who prefer the dried herb form. This little ‘Tabby’ had hers sprinkled on a mat outside and rubs her cheeks into the herb whilst processing it all. Again you will note this is outside, as it really does smell like sweaty socks.

Peppermint Ponies

Where better to spend Valentines Day but in a field full of ponies?

The Juniper herd requested an Essential Oils Therapy session today and thankfully I carry at least peppermint oil in my pocket when visiting so we had to make do with one oil – they didn’t seem to mind as they are all ‘peppermint ponies’.  Peppermint is a firm favourite of equines as those of you who have ever had polos in your pocket may have noticed.

As a lot of you know, Jac has been with me for 3 years now so inevitably he is good at communicating when he wants an oil session.  If he needs to inhale the oil, lick the oil from my hand or have it rubbed on his coat.  As a trained practitioner I sometimes work undiluted with some oils and Jac will take breaks to have some water to do his own dilution (which you can see some of in the video).  Of all the Flehman responses I have seen over the years to oils or other interesting scents, I have never seen Jac show one yet – which highlights even when observing responses behaviourally we are all different.  Jac does yawn to release things, licks and chews, and lowers his head before snorting some of which are seen in the video.  As captured on film Jac will also walk off when he is done. I have known Storm and Lily for a few months now, they are both still keen on peppermint.  Storm used to lick the oil but now only needs to inhale, whereas Lily still likes to lick the oil which is possibly supporting her knees which are a little stiff as she is an equine gal in her twenties.

Peppermint (Mentha piperita) Essential Oil is fairly inexpensive, has a long shelf life, and has well documented therapeutic properties such as an anti-inflammatory, anti-microbial, circulation stimulant, muscular-skeletal support (aches, sprains – good for box rest and long trailer journeys), and supports the respiratory system, regulates the nervous system and aid digestion system (my oil of choice in a colic situation awaiting the vet). It also supports some skin conditions such as itchiness and sun burn, however as peppermint can be a slight dermal irritant it is best diluted. If you are interested in learning more we are running our next Essential Oils workshop in Glastonbury at Paintedhorse on the 4th March 2017.

Oh and its not all about horses. Dog owner? There’s a workshop for you on the 5th March.

Cat owner? We have something lined up for you a little later in the year.

Walking Down the Line

Juniper Natural Therapies Counselling

The last day of the year tends to always find me reflective and perhaps a bit melancholy – this year is certainly no different.  To me this picture captures it all without words. It was taken by a friend who I met a couple of years ago at work, she returned home to New Zealand after life changed unexpectedly and dramatically.  Luckily for me she came back to England this year, on New Years Day, and ended up staying most of this year in one way or another with me. As a result she was there to witness my life change dramatically and gave me the support network I realised I never had. Consequently that knowledge created more change, that was perhaps inevitable but painful nonetheless.

The last time my life changed as dramatically was when I found out my marriage was over. Immediately I lost my husband, my best friend, and instead he became someone I never knew. Within a month our house had sold, my notice was in at work and I left the area for the south west in my little old car with what could fit in it and the rest didn’t matter anymore. Although I was supported by random acts of kinds all around, I felt alone. I listened to and over identified with Greenday’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams.  I promised myself nothing would ever floor me like that in life again. I was going to study a degree and see what happened, a beautiful beginning from a sad sad ending.  This year I was presented with the end of my fostering placement. Similarly to my marriage ending, it was not my choice so it was hard to accept as giving up on someone I love was not something I did. I was 37 when I fostered my sister’s daughter and am now nearly 42, I know it cost me my last chance of having a child of my own. But even now, knowing how it played out, I would do it all again. I have been deeply hurt by events this year and felt the sting of betrayal by people who supported them, some of whom I let into my life properly without any caution. All part of life I guess.

That moment caught unaware of me walking Jac back to his field was the last day I had with my friend before New Zealand called her home. It was also one of the last days before I moved Jac to a new home out of the area, away from our past as it now was. Like me, he was mostly on his own when he went home and was no doubt hurting. Unlike me, he was able to shake off our past as soon as he entered his new home by rolling and shaking his body a couple of times. It is taking me a bit longer to shake it off and as daft as the rolling around on the floor sounds, its actually one way of moving blocked emotions in the body. Wherever my body is feeling tension or pain, that’s where I put movement and it seems to release the blocked energy. I did keep my promise to myself that nothing would ever floor me like my marriage ending. People come and people go, even family. And I guess once you have let possessions go, its easier to do it again as the attachment just isn’t there. So here I am with some belongings on borrowed time in someone else’s living space, attempting to finish my counselling training and earn enough to live on around that. It is not as secure as I found university, with friendly student accommodation, a student loan and a three year plan. But I feel a lot stronger in myself this time around, even though I am perhaps more vulnerable security wise. I am once again surrounded by random acts of kindness which always give me faith and hope. Again, all part of life.

I have appreciated all the beginnings gifted to me alongside the endings. Opportunities that fill me with excitement. And those harder lessons in life made me stronger, less afraid and gave me the motivation to chase my dreams.  I am grateful for those people that have reached out to me this year with kindness, love and light freely given. All those that sent Christmas cards or gifts and invited me to come stay with them or pop in for a mince pie – I thank you once again but hope you understand I really just wanted to keep this Christmas low key, and spent it with Jac and his new herd.

“Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone” – Green Day

Thanks also to Jac who did find me and now walks beside me making the road less lonely.

Journey with the Horse

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‘Journey with the Horse’ is an equine-facilitated activity which I use with clients to help aid self development and learning. As I was thinking of ways to adapt the programme in the winter months, it got me thinking about on my own journey with the horse. Not the workshop I did as a pre-requisite to becoming a LEAP practitioner that was insightful in itself [read more], but about my journey with my first horse Jac. The beautiful young man up there on the left with the long eyelashes.  Who in the three years he has been with me, has now had three homes and settles down quickly within each herd he has been with. Usually passive within a herd, this time he lives out with only mares, so has become quite assertive and I am experiencing a whole different side to him. He is a wise pony, humorous and does not like being stabled (just last night due to the forecast of heavy rains they were all stabled, he undid his bolt to go and stand in the rain all night). He likes people to get on ‘horse time’ with him and I love watching him spend time with clients who get so lost in the here and now with him, they forget I am there, their concept of time and become so peaceful in their surrounding environment.

As a kid I always wanted a pony. I borrowed other peoples horses where possible and in some places we lived it wasn’t possible. I always thought one day I would have a horse, as I grew older that turned into working with them. After school I joined the Special Constabulary with the longer term goal of working in the Mounted Police. After a year in the specials I had my application ready for Merseyside police and they stopped recruiting for 3 years. I joined the Army instead, but as ‘girls can’t join the household cavalry’ my path then took me a different way for a long while.  I did sign up for horse riding wherever possible wherever I was. It wasn’t really until 2010 aged 35 that I spotted an advert for Monty Roberts Horsemanship that I remembered my old dream. It probably helped that my life had spectacularly crashed around me, so it was good opportunity to reassess what I wanted from life. I signed up and I worked voluntary for a horse sanctuary and also for a lady who needed help with about 18 horses.

In 2013 whilst I had been fostering my niece for a few years, that little grey pony came into our lives and I am not sure to this day whether I would have bought him for me. You see I had got used to the feeling the horses were for other people, people who knew more and had more money. So I would have talked myself out of it, ‘you don’t have time, money, know how, you’re too old to start this, everyone else has loads more experience’. But here’s the thing, that thought process didn’t apply to my niece. I made it happen for her, something I couldn’t do for my inner child. No big deal, that’s what parents do for their kids all the time. My ‘inner child’ watched as my niece learnt more and more about horsemanship, and gained valuable qualifications that would help gain all those wonderful equine jobs that passed ‘her’ by. She literally sat there within me and watched, filmed or took photos. For a Christmas present one year, she spent days or rather weeks helping me put together footage of 5 years into a movie for my niece called ‘my journey with horses’. On reflection I think she started to get angry with me, and as I didn’t give her time to express herself it became resentment.  If I think back to this time I imagine her like a butterfly trapped in a jar, wanting to get out and spread her wings, but I did not take the lid off.

In 2015 as I have mentioned in my blog anger I had a small non-spreadable malignant tumour removed from my solar plexus and I knew this was a nudge from ‘the universe’ about sorting myself out emotionally. I had already had the warning from my body for about a year to get the mole checked and I ignored it. It was easy to write it off as I was dealing with my nieces paralysis, ‘I’ll get to it’, ‘It’s probably nothing, you had a mole removed at 17 and that was nothing’. One night I woke up in pain with blood on my fingers and it turned out I had tried to scratch it out in my sleep. Three weeks later it was cut out professionally, then I received a letter to say they were ‘surprised’ at the result and ‘couldn’t guarantee clear margins’. They hadn’t cut enough out so it could grow back or alternatively my immune system could probably deal with the stray cells and it wouldn’t. I decided to leave it to heal up, boost my immune system and work on the emotional front. I always thought that my resentment was triggered from external sources but I see now it was also internal. My inner child knows what our dreams are, I rarely let her speak as there is always a reason I can’t follow them, not yet. She perhaps just upped the ante on continuing to be ignored.

This year, has been a whirlwind of change and has challenged my resilience and adaptability.  For the first time, here I am at the tail end of the year with a pony but without my niece. My inner child stepped up, she knows she can handle it, and for the first time in a long time my adult stepped up with her. My adult made a few ‘big’ and perhaps ‘crazy’ decisions that other adults would question (and they have), but I acknowledge what our dreams are now, and know what I have to let go of and keep hold of to realise them. I know this is my path, it has been very uphill and rocky and I am determined not to step off it again. There have been a lot of obstacles on this journey, the one I am still dealing with now is the part of me that doesn’t believe I deserve my dream. This is the fourth obstacle that Paulo Coelho talks about in his book that I keep close to my heart ‘The Alchemist’ [read more].  I now have to “believe myself worthy of the thing I fought so hard to get, then I help the Soul of the World and understand why I am here”. Pondering on this thought whilst sat in the car having just seen Jac and his friends, I re-discovered a chocolate bar in my bag that a friend bought back from Ireland and on the packaging was a Gaelic blessing I thought apt…

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be always at your back…” Traditional Irish Blessing

Evolution

Juniper Natural Therapies Phoenix

When the phoenix shows up it indicates a new beginning, a fresh start, the ability to create a future different from the past. The phoenix showed up at the start of the year for me and with it came the message that a part of me has to die in order for it to be reborn. I didn’t have to wait long before I discovered what part that was. I was going through a bit of an intense time emotionally, something felt wrong with my lungs and eventually I woke in the dead of night with pain every time I breathed. I recognised the symptoms as a panic attack and managed to calm myself down by counting my breaths. If the body never lies and we listen to what that part has to say, we can help ourselves. It is amazing how and why we override this information with our busy minds and our busy lives at the detriment of our bodies.

My lungs indicated sadness, disappointment, hurt, rejection and despair. Having worked hard to release my suppressed anger this year, underneath that protection layer was sadness and disappointment. I felt a crushing feeling on my lungs, like I was under rocks. More and more rocks were being placed on me and it got heavier and heavier. What did the rocks represent? Other peoples responsibility. Why did I take it on? A script learnt from childhood perhaps? With a strong link of not being left alone? If I looked after ‘this’, that would stop ‘that’ happening and I would still have a family. In trying to keep a ‘family’ around me I have taken on a lot of responsibility. What would happen if I gave the responsibility back to its rightful owner?  I imagined a rope which pulled me up and out of the responsibility rock pile until I was above it looking around at the panoramic view breathing freely. I then knew what I had to do, and consequently what I would have to face. You see under my sadness was fear, fear of being alone.

There was a shift in me as I stopped taking other people’s responsibility. My mantra ‘I am responsible for myself, not responsible for others’. They were responsible for themselves. It did leave me with conflict with my niece I was looking after as my foster child, I was responsible for her. On a soul level however, she is responsible for herself, I am only there to guide her for as long as needed. Anyone who has brought up teenagers probably knows, there is a shift in them at some stage that pushes away the parental guidance as they know their rights, and you just have to hope you have guided enough that they can take responsibility for themselves.

Fundamentally, as hard as it may be to accept, it is their journey, not yours. Just as your journey is your own and not anyone else’s. Journeys are how we can evolve spiritually and hopefully by the end of our lifetimes we achieve all the growth we set out to achieve when signing up for the deal down here. As part of that deal, we ticked boxes for experiences, some that test our resilience and adaptability to change greatly. We are all evolving at different rates, sometimes our paths line up with others and run together for a time, and other times we walk alone. I was trying to keep a ‘family’ around me for fear of walking alone. I think its more the fear of something, rather than the reality of it that makes us clutch to the chains that bind us (see Mary I do listen to you quoting the bible at me). To those worrying about me right now, try not to. Empathise with me instead, then you get to see the world from my perspective. Its empowering for someone to get that understanding from another. If you sympathise or pity, it is more likely you are dealing with your own fear projections about what you would do or how you would feel in my shoes. Dealing with that can be quite exhausting for a person who takes other peoples responsibilities on. Thankfully I don’t do that anymore. Being ‘alone’ allows more energy to go on self development and figuring out where and what next. I can see in time there will be other peoples paths lining up with mine as we all continue to evolve on this journey called life. Right now I am happy walking alone.

“True initiation is a response to an inner calling; it requires that you face personal challenges heroically and experience a genuine rebirth into a new way of being” – Alberto Villoldo

Anger

Juniper Natural Therapies Anger

Those who know me, know that I pressed pause on my business in August 2014 to begin a difficult journey which for me has centred around the emotion of anger.

I fostered my niece several years ago when she was 11 years old, both her parents were unavailable to her. The conflict I had with social services to get her back to family was immense and took a long drawn-out 11 months. For me it involved loss of a job, the end of a relationship and selling of material possessions. It involved a lot of conflict with persons that had forgotten professional standards within their roles. As this chapter closed, things seemed to settle down for a while. In hindsight, I don’t think I ever released my anger from this time.

Then came the next chapter of conflict with social services, which seemed harder to deal with than the first. It was actually more unbelievable than the first. I could not express this added anger and disbelief to the people involved as by the end of this chapter they had moved on/been moved on. The best way to describe my feelings was that I had enough energy for a physical battle, but there was noone on that battle field but me. I know from my Army career how important physical exercise would have been if I could have engaged with it, but I could not. It may have helped to use up this energy physically and consequently would have improved my mental well-being. I was in a much darker place emotionally and not able to take time to heal self. My focus was on my niece and I did not heed useful advice once given to me…

fit your own oxygen mask before fitting other peoples‘.

In addition to this conflict, my niece was paralysed whilst at school, by something, later diagnosed as Transverse Myelitis. I spent days in hospital with her as doctors tried to figure out what had gone wrong. It took a whole year for a full recovery, it also took a lot of therapy, most considered ‘alternative’: chiropractic, reiki, nutrition, equine therapy and homeopathy. It also took self belief in the healing process from my niece.  It left me very reflective of her healing journey and realising I had neglected my own. I had ignored a nagging voice about a mole for some time, when I tried to remove it in my sleep I decided it was time to see the GP. It turned out I had a small non-spreadable cancerous tumour. Why had I not listened to my intuition sooner? It’s not like this had been the first time it had been right.

Louise Hays talks about emotions and their link to dis-ease. Cancer she discusses is resentment, anger that has not been released but repressed. This hit a chord with me. Stepping into Transactional Analysis for a moment, anger is one of the four emotions a ‘free’ child has innately. Most of us become an ‘adapted’ child as anger may not be an acceptable emotion to display to our parents. Adapted anger is displayed by children in various ways: withdrawal, boredom, moping, petulance, sulking, tantrums and rebellion. Certain situations can trigger many adults to enter their ‘adapted child’ ego state and anger is not released freely. I was perhaps displaying ‘withdrawal’. Expressing anger when it comes up, reflecting on why it has come up and also releasing old anger has probably been my biggest challenge to date.  Studying Therapeutic Counselling, having personal counselling and practising meditation has been helpful in this pursuit.

I recently gained my Reiki masters and was reminded of one of the five principles…

Just for today, I will not anger‘ –

I realise now, that this does not mean suppression of anger. Anger can be used as a powerful stimulus to achieve many positive things. This principle (to me at least) is about not allowing external stimulus to effect me internally to trigger an anger response. That I am in control of my own emotions and I can create a space around myself and allow what comes in and out. This is a ‘work in progress’ as I get used to looking at things in a different way.